I have been putting it off for a long time, my transition into the yoga video world. Make no mistake, I have no desire to become a celebrity yoga guru filling up the Youtube airways with a practice you can do anywhere (but really only on your beach holiday in Bali) for true authenticity. Believe me, there are plenty of those guys already (if you want a humorous take on the yoga and meditation world I urge you to take a look at JP Sears). But my fans… I mean clients.. have been requesting some yoga videos from me for a while, hopefully not so that they can stop paying me and coming to classes, but because they love yoga so much they want to do more of it when I’m not available.

So today, with a relatively empty schedule I thought I should get on and do it. What a palaver!

Finding the best film location with the right amount of space for me and my mat, with enough height/depth to place strategic camera was the first tricky thing. The dog wasn’t happy. He dislikes change, so moving the kitchen table, chairs and his bed made for a very restless pooch. In fact he walked in front of the camera on several occasions in protest, leading to much swearing on my part and many retakes. Then I fluffed my words so often I thought I’d lost the ability to speak. How hard can it be? I’m talking to an inanimate object, not to actual humans, which I seem to manage every other day. Then the camera seemed to go off (it hadn’t) so I restarted. Then when I watched first video back, the 10 minute practice I had promised had turned into 25 minutes. Restart. Then I appeared to be wearing inappropriate clothing, which allowed full view of ever-expanding mummy tummy (do I show you that in my classes? I really hope not for your sake). I thought the camera added 10 pounds, not 3 extra rolls.

Eventually I had two videos I could just about live with (apart from the hair, the wrong pants and the voice but hey, no-one’s perfect). Ha ha! I thought the easy part was filming them. Try being a total halfwit luddite with no clue how to make, edit or upload a video. Still trying. My computer says upload will take another 1 hour 31 minutes, despite the fact I’ve just signed up to mega broadband with BT at extortionate monthly cost. We’ll see. If it ever happens I’ll put the video links on my ‘links’ page. But don’t hold your breath (that may also be a yoga joke). Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts must be quaking in their celebrity boots.

***Update – 7 hours later, video still uploading………